Hey Hey, I'm still listening to Christy Wright's Business Boutique podcasts on Spotify (no this isn't some kind of plug or ad LOL). And speaking honestly, I started listening to the podcasts just out of curiosity. I did not expect to hear anything ground breaking as I have been an entrepreneur for 10+ years and a mompreneur for 6+ years. Very little is earth shattering in my line of work or on being a small business owner at this point. But I did end up discovering something else… a renewed confidence and courage in ME and what I am doing. Christy is incredibly encouraging!
Today's topic: How to Get Your Spouse on Board with your business? Do you worry about whether or not your significant other is going to accept your business idea? Perhaps you have already felt the sting of rejection from them and need encouragement and advice on how to move forward. In this episode Christy gives tips to addressing this and then share her story with her husband Matt whom she interviews. This episode is so good and so parallel to Jonathan and my story that I just fell in love. First, here are Christy's tips on How to talk to your spouse about your business. How to get them on board!
- Start With Why – you help others understand the meaning behind the work. Share your heart with your spouse. Talk about why it matters to you and to the world. Tell them how it makes you come alive! Give them the opportunity to have buy in.
- Ask What They Need – don't guess and theorize what you might need to do, just ask them. What fears do they have? Perhaps they don't really understand what it is you want to do? What would help them support you? What do they need to get excited about your dream?
- Show Them! – don't just talk about how it gives you joy, show them how it gives you joy. Don't just talk about how its providing extra money, show them how it is earning the family extra money. Then your not just talking about it, you are showing proof.
How to Get Your Spouse on Board
During this episode Christy interviews her husband who in many ways is just like my husband. He is quiet and more of an introvert married to an ever talkative extrovert! I love that they schedule out what their evenings look like. If you have heard Jonathan and I speak you know we have hot tub hour. After the kids are in bed this is our time to sit and talk, relax, discuss and have our time then from there we might head to individual relaxation, Jon playing a video game and me watching Twilight 🙂 or we might continue the evening together. Having this loose schedule and idea helps us smoothly navigate.
Christy and her husband's are personalities are different but their hobbies and passions are the same, which is exactly like Jonathan and I. When Jonathan and I were in pre-martial counseling nearly 12 years ago our counselors sat us down and really spoke to us about what our future was going to look like because they had never met 2 people more opposite in personality than the 2 of us.
Of course, this event makes us giggle now as we have a much better understand now of what they were trying to say to us then. But, 11+ years of marriage and working full time together all day every day and here we are. And I think, we have rubbed off on each other. I have calmed down and don't have to attend 285048 events a month (like Christy) and he has livened up and is ok if we have back to back events in 1 day (hey he covered Fiesta San Antonio with me).
Did you catch above that Jonathan and I work full time together all day, nearly every day?! Yep! For nearly 10 years now we have done this. So when I hear about a spouse not getting or not wanting to support their spouse I don't track BUT Christy and her husband offer some great advice on this that I wanted to share. Here are some tips on how to involve your spouse and include your spouse? Ask advice on things that are in their wheel house. Is your spouse a money person? Ask them to help you with running numbers. Help them gain interest by including them in those areas of your business.
Tips on Helping Your Spouse Support You
One area that Christy and I are not alike is that I get a great idea or two and I am content nurturing just those, not Christy, she has a lot of ideas a lot of the time JUST LIKE MY HUBBY! He could start a business every day if I let him LOL. So I was happy they touched on this topic. What to do with a spouse who always has a lot of ideas? How do you communicate these ideas? First, remember, just because they have an idea doesn't mean yall are doing this tomorrow so don't shut down! <– I have to chant this in my head and often! Also pitching spouse, don't expect and answer and outline right then, know you are just pitching a soft idea. And if they don't jump on board immediately don't get upset or defeated, this is just the 1st step, the pitch. Second, pitcher, anticipate the questions you know your spouse is going to ask with solid answers so that they have real facts to work with. It will help you feel less put off and them more included. Don't know what to expect from from your spouse, then ask: What information do you need to get more comfortable with this idea?
Another popular question Christy hears is How Do I Get My Spouse on Board with my Dream? And Matt says the following: your spouse loves you and it's their responsibility to support you no matter what they might be feeling and honestly, they should want to! So help each other get on the same page to make this happen. If your spouse is doing something they love which brings them joy, know that will only overflow to you too!
It is never too late, just start with a conversation. – Christy Wright
But if you have a spouse that doesn't fall into the above category and they aren't there to support you and you are feeling the weight of this, listen to Matt's advise: first, talk to them about not being supportive to see if you can find out why and address it! You might find they have legitimate concerns that are causing them to just shut down. Next, show them how happy it makes you! If it doesn't have to be successful financially but rather it makes you happy therefore you are a better spouse to them, you are a better parent, etc Show them why this will or is bringing you joy and this is How to Get Your Spouse on Board.
Pitching Spouse, this part here is for you!
How Do You Speak to Your Spouse About Your Business?
- Talk Slow! But when you get excited you probably start talking faster and for someone who isn't wired like you, this becomes intimidating. They can't track with you as fast as you are moving. So make it easy on them to follow you. Use pauses and slow speech.
- Ask Questions, lots of questions. This demonstrates humility and that you care. When you talk fast and go hard it comes across that you don't care. Examples: Tell me more about that? Or why does that appear that way to you? What have you noticed about me when I work on my business? How does this affect the family. You can't go wrong asking questions.
- Listen to the Answer! Don't just ask the question and continue talking. Ask and then reply listen (this takes us back to step 1 to talk slow) .
- Show gratitude! When you show appreciation for how your significant other works and makes sacrifices currently for the family, they will be much more open to listening to you because they feel seen, they feel heard and they feel appreciated. Who doesn't love being appreciated?! So show them gratitude so that they can hear your pitch. These are wise communication strategies!
If at this point you think you have their attention, go to Christy's podcast episode 49 minute 42 and have them listen with you. I'm not going to cover all these questions here that are asked but if you have a reserved party, this is something good to listen to together (if you can't get them to listen to the whole podcast with you).
Still have too many business ideas?
Want help refining them? Let's say you don't quite have your business idea yet but rather, you have a group of people you know you want to serve! You can take the same 2 steps above and apply them here to create your business. First, your target market is done as you know who you want to serve. Second, what problems do those people encounter that you can fix? Or perhaps you know you want to do something but don't know what it is? Or maybe you need help on how to refine your 50000+ ideas into a business? I highly recommend you check out her Business Ideas Bootcamp! (this isn't an ad, this is me passionately looping you into my “how to live in success sanely”) You can learn more about it here.
You can listen to Christy Wright's Business Boutique Podcasts here. And you can learn more about what Christy offers on her Business Boutique Website. She has a book, educational courses, her blog and much more I highly recommend!